Wednesday, July 19, 2006

I've just melted....



Currently listening to:
Song: "(Been through the desert on) a horse with no name"
Artist: America
Album: America


Today has been a scorcher, its more than 30 degrees (C) in the office, and we are all starting to drip at the edges. There is a severe lack of aircon. Aparently there is tarmac melting all over the country and people are dying of heat exhaustion. This from a country that is usually about 8 degrees (C).


I usually drink the odd glass of water, (in between all the gallons of coffee), but today i've had one cup of coffee and about 3 litres of water. I might just explode anytime now.

fergoodnessake, hararya?

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

July 11th.....

What was that film called with Arnold Schwarzenegger where he has to get to the toy shop on christmas eve and get the toy for his kid, the last one in the shop? Tesco Newtownabbey was kinda like that this evening.... only more cussing.

I decided on one of the busiest shopping days of the year to try out Joanne's parents' new bar-be-que. Today has been good weather and everyone (apart from me) got out of work today at about 3pm.

The following sum explains further:

Good weather +
Short work day followed by 2 days national holiday +
Being Northern Ireland's official bonfire night (for one half of the community) =
BBQ!

Random trivia for international visitors:
The 12th and 13th of july are national holidays in Northern Ireland. For more info click here. Bonfire night is the 11th, a precursor to these holidays for the loyalist side of the divide.

When i got to the supermarket I discovered first of all that they were closing now. Right now. Although normally a 24/7 (ish) supermarket, all concerned shoppers now start to panic.
Everything that is needed for survival is to be bought in the next 5 minutes.

The shelves were as empty as i've ever seen them. There were 3 packets of sausages and no bread at all. I got some beer, which was a miracle in itself as tonight's bonfire extravaganza has over the years descended into a drink-a-thon. I dropped a 4 pack on the floor and had to have another brought to me as there was, in the words of the assistant, "....no time to get another. Stay here!".

I passed by Davy from work who explained that he and his missis had been to 3 supermarkets and were still short of what they were looking for. There was an air of desperation setting in!

I got the checkouts only to be moved on from one line to another because, and I quote: "...sorry sir, I'm closing up now!" OF COURSE YOU"RE CLOSING UP NOW, THE WHOLE BLOODY SHOP IS CLOSING UP NOW! That was in my head, but if you know me you'll know I'll go to say things like that and then just grin insanely and just move on.

The thing about the checkouts is that in this country you can only buy alcohol at a percentage of the open tills at a supermarket. It's a silly licensing thing that i doubt even the management understand. There are signs up showing you which till is ok to buy from and which is not.

I was having the problem that every till i got refused from was an alcohol purchasing till. I kept being referred on to tills that I could not buy alcohol from. I finally cracked up and said: "where can I buy this stuff from then, all the other tills that sell alcohol are closing too!" I was greeted with little sympathy and told to move on.

20 minutes later I got out of the place. I was driving to a petrol station to buy bread when i came across an example of one of the smaller bonfires:

click above image to enlarge

As you can see there is a Irish flag on top, what you may not be able to see is the celtic fooball tops that are arm in arm all around it too. Such silly hatred.

(by the way if you are not from Ireland and you are puzzled about this I'll be happy to explain. Just e-mail me)

Well, off I go. We'll probably take a look about the bonfires later, but stay far enough away from the idiots to be in any danger!

More to follow..... M.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Tim Horton's In Ireland! (and Ireland trip)....

Currently listening to: "Trouble" Ray LaMontagne


Last Saturday Joanne, Shiny, Raj and I wen't on a "lets get lost in Ireland" adventure, which ended up in Westport. As the name may suggest, its a port on the West of Ireland.

We were having this day out to jointly celebrate Sarah's 18th birthday and also spend some time with her before she headed off to OZ.

The day was a wild amount of fun and frolicking, we did get extensively lost in Co.Sligo thanks to Microsoft "so called" route finder, (if that is your real name), but we stopped and asked directions off and englishman, who was only too pleased and amused at being able to direct us back to the right path.

He didn't however give us good directions, so we headed for sligo and then on down the N4/N5 to the port.

Here is a map of the journey, as is should have been:

I got overly excited to find canadian coffee store Tim Horton's had appeared in a Shell/Spar filling station on the main road to Westport.

The thing is that Canadian coffee is not that strong, and can be a little bland, but that isn't the point, it has attached memories of going to Canada with Dave Allen and Elia Montgomery.. . . also they do great pastries / donuts / timbits.

Aparently Tim horton's are planning to populate Irish Shell/Spar filling stations with branches, and there is a proper fully functioning coffee shop already open at Dublin Zoo.

The Canadians are on the attack. Bring it on.

Also, when we got to Westport we went into a pub and watched the England world cup dreams being dashed. There was no finer place to do that than an Irish Pub!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Go Oilers!

I'm currently (at time of posting) watching the Ice Hockey "Stanley Cup". Edminton Oilers v Carolina Hurricanes.

Its the 2nd period, Carolina 2 Oilers 3.

I hope the oilers can keep it up. (too many random penalties)

=====
addition (later on):

3-3 its overtime!

=====

Ok so they lost. Dang.

Currently listening to:
"The Hockey Song"
Stompin' Tom Connors
Boot Records

Sunday, June 11, 2006

The mighty bumblewasp.....


He's half man, half biscuit, half wasp. He has a cane, a hat, a moustache and a face on him like a battenburg.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Monday, June 05, 2006

Its that time of the summer again....

This is as dark as it's gonna get for a while.


(pic taken after midnight on a phone camera, the sky was/is actually much brighter, but you get the idea :)

Currently listening to:
"Here Comes the Sun"
The Beatles

The days are just packed......

What else is there to do on an incredibly hot day?

Let the Fellowes' brothers demonstrate:

Friday, June 02, 2006

Whaterboutyou?

Currently listening to:
"Father and daughter"
Paul Simon
Surprise


Its been a while, again since my last post. This is due to not having much to say.

So, recently I've had at least 2 dreams where I have been sentenced to death. Both times I've been a bit blase about the situation until I reached the business end of a noose or ak47 respectively.

In the first dream I was to be hung. Can't really remember what the crime was, don't think it was anything that sinister, but I just agreed to go along with the proceedings. There were two large rooms. One was an auditorium which looked like it sat several thousand, the other room (next door) was a party. I was in the party room, having a few drinks and snacks with all my friends and family.

Several characters, like Elia Montgomery, were coming over and saying things like "don't you think you should at least try to escape? Do you really not think this is all a bit unfair?" I just laughed and carried on.

Slowly everyone filed into the next room, and took their seats. This was the room where the execution was to take place.

Finally the police left the party room to get ready for the main event, my hanging, when I suddenly realized. O holy crap, they're gonna hang me! And for what?

I took a good look around, no one was left in the room so I legged it. (and then woke up).

The next dream was just bizarre. We found out that my grandad, who died in the late 80's was actually alive, or at least he had just died. He had run off to the air force to become a pilot, and had been serving in Iraq.

My brother Andy, who tends to travel a lot, had got himself into trouble with some terrorists and my grandad had found out. He had been monitoring us constantly since his untimely departure. Grandad had gone awol with a fighterjet to save the day.

unfortunately Grandad had been shot down and killed by our own airforce for desertion, over the desert.

Andy had been released by his captors, he was on his way home, and everyone was round our's paying their respect to my war-hero-but-got-shot-down-for-desertion granda.

Here's where the story really starts. I was being put on trial for granda's war crimes. Apparently shooting him down wasn't good enough for the UN. One of his descendants had to stand trial for their satisfaction.

The ceremony was very short. I was pretty much sentenced to be shot by firing squad right away. The catch is that I was lined up with lots of proper criminals against a wall out in the desert. Between me and the firing squad, who were all blindfolded, were several large pillars of natural rock formation.

The system was as follows. The firing squad shot at the general direction of us nasty criminal types, but because they can't see and are therefore not aiming, it was a case of God's will who gets a bullet. This made perfect sense to the UN who sanctioned this type of selective execution.

I was ushered to the left hand side of the wall by the civil servant arranging the crooks. He whispered in my ear "You'll be ok over here, we know this is all a bit silly and you aren't really guilty of anything, just duck a little!"

Sure enough the firing squad were given the order and shot. I looked to my right and heard the "zip-zip-zip-zip" of bullets entering flesh.

I seemed to be the only one not bleeding so I was freed.

I haven't had an execution dream in over a week now. I'm bored now.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

BBC to sell radio 1 and 2....!?

Currently listening to: "We Shall Overcome" - Bruce springsteen (We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions)

Aparently BBC radio 1 and 2 are too popular and should be sold off to become commercial radio stations to give local commercial radio a chance.

Read all about it here.

I was so annoyed i went to the have your say section of BBC news and joined countless numbers of people expressing their dismay.

I wrote (and yeah, i know it might not be all good grammar, but hey!)

I cannot find a word to stress the extreme sadness that I would feel if BBC radio 2 were to stop being what it has become.

Radio 2 is the source of such rich music, stimulating documentaries and wonderful live events. DJ's like Bob Harris, unashamedly playing good music regardless of genre. Surely a privatised station would not hold these things to be so relivant?

There is a reason commercial radio is in the state it is, bland pop music, magazine style journalism and no substance.

Radio 2, for me and many others, is the independant thinking solution to an otherwise bland world of local radio.

Matt McIvor, Belfast

Saturday, May 13, 2006

"Dog" the oldest mullet man in town....

Now, I like a mullet as much as the next man, but this guy takes the biscuit.

He's a bounty hunter called "Dog". His show is on bravo every once in a while.

If you are feeling down, look for his programme, I laughed all the way through.

He is a solid rocker. He takes himself extremely seriously. He may be powered exclusively by hard rock and an American idiot standard issue, honest to God sense of doing the right thing.

In short, he's livin the dream of having long bleach blonde hair (covering his bald spot), packing a peice, wearing a pair of dodgy sunglasses and upholding "truth, justice and the american way!"

RAWK!

Currently listening to: "Jacob's Ladder" - Bruce springsteen (We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions)

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Karting

Currently listening to: "Unemployable" by Pearl Jam - album: "Pearl Jam"

Steria had its annual Karting challenge last week. It was a tough old grand prix.

It took all 9 years of driving like an idiot, and 9 penalty points, but it was not all in vain.

I kicked ass. Click here for the pictures.

(i look pregnant! - i'm not actually that fat, its just the 3 layers i was wearin' !)

New Music

Currently listening to "Marker In The Sand" - Pearl Jam (album: "Pearl Jam")

I recently bought Pearl Jam's album "Pearl Jam", I haven't received the disc yet, but they let me download it from the site, which was nice of them.

When i've listened more i'll try reviewing it, a thing i'm scared to do cuse I know i'm no Ross Thompson.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Humor test

the Wit
(61% dark, 34% spontaneous, 10% vulgar)
your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK




You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're
probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You
realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons'
philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most
other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.



You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm
talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.



PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais







The 3-Variable Funny Test!

- it rules -




If you're interested, try my best friend's best test:
The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Masterpiece





My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 72% on darkness
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 21% on spontaneity
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 1% on vulgarity
Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Saturday, April 15, 2006

playoff fever...

Currently listening to: Xavier Rudd - Messages

The other weekend we joined about 10,500 people at the National Ice Centre in Nottingham for the elite league's playoff final weekend.

Jo, Raj and I headed over on Friday so that we'd not miss any of the games, the first one was 3pm on Saturday and the hotel rooms are never ready for us to check into on time.

We checked out the shops on Friday, and didn't do much but drink coffee and eat burgers!

Later on shiny Sarah, Bill, Lu and the rest arrived. We had some very nice pizza from Amigos, a few drinks in the Pit and Pendulum laced with Nigel's legendary Berry juice and then we were off to bed.
"The Pit" is a fantastically gothic little establishment near the city centre of Nottingham. They had an interesting addition to their washrooms this year, a singing guy dispensing soap and singing songs that he made up like "freshen up, freshen up" and "hygiene is top banana". It was true class, you just slip him a quid or so and he sprays your hands with some spray soap then offers you some kitchen roll followed by a choice of aftershave. The guy sang some more explicit songs, but I ain't posting them for all to see!

Saturday we got up and went to get our usual feed in Squares, (a nice sports bar in the city centre). Shiny Sarah had no ID and so we couldn’t get in to buy lunch. Thing was we were a clear hour and a bit early to buy alcohol so I don’t see what the problem was. We headed off down to the Hard Rock Cafe instead, then off to the arena.

Sheffied Steelers were playing the Cardiff Devils. It was a draw, but Sheffield won on penalties. You can see the last one go in below:

(for the video, click this link)

The Belfast Giants played the Newcastle Vipers later that day. It was nastly. Nuff said.

We all went out after defeat for more pizza, and off to bed after discussing neighbours and many other things.
The Giants were out of the playoffs, we found ourselves in a quandary: who do we support for the final?

Traditionally speaking we would have supported the Cardiff Devils. Their fans were always of good humor and supported us in previous playoff finals. The Steelers were being coached, just for the playoffs, by our former coach Dave Whistle and their fans seemed to have had a personality transplant (for the better).

We ended up supporting the Steelers. It felt dirty and wrong, but we were doing it for coach Whis and not for the sake of their scummy general manager who takes digs at our guys on a regular basis in the press.

Long and the short of it was that the Steelers lost in the final, Newcastle Vipers clinched it.

I was a little underimpressed to watch the final as an event. The hockey was ok, but the atmosphere was not really there, there was no "big show" feel to the event like there was in the old days when Dave allen or Elia Montgomery and I were involved. Don't get me wrong, I don't know if I could have done better, but it felt to me like there was no real build up. The games started all weekend without any real pizaz. (if that is even a word).

The music was inappropriate at times. (they played 'Danny boy' as our national anthem!) The support wasn't really there even though there were lots of bums on seats. There was no carnival atmosphere, probably due to the lack of "playoff village" that has been there in years past. (That was just was just a collection of stalls and good natured hockey folk trying to make you part with money for their dodgy merchandise.)

The one thing that didn't fail to impress me though was the Giants support. Even though we were given an early bath the Giants folks partied hard. We took defeat graciously, we supported an old arch-enemy, we stuck with them even as they lost. We all went to the pub and made Nottingham a more exciting place for a while. (I hear one of them even streaked through the lobby of the hotel we were in!)
On Monday we all had the playoff blues. We missed shiny and Lu going off early for their flight, dragged ourselves through the day and were kept alive with coffee and cake.

We nearly missed the flight home as the 10-or-so-seater taxi turned up very late. We did make it home eventually though, and now the long hockey-less summer begins.

Time to start rumors again. lets see: Jimmi (the owner) told me in the strictest confidence that he will employ dancing girls for the locker rooms next year. (honest, no really).

Eesh, that will be the most sensible thing i'll make up. Cue random hockey people coming to me and saying, as if it were gospel, that something totally unbelievable will happen like, i don't know, an NHL allstar will be signing for us next year. I guess stranger things have happened!

(time taken to post - about 2 weeks)

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Crazy weekend....

2 Weekends ago Jo and I stayed at Dorothy and Alans and looked after about 30 Cats. The we went to edinburgh to watch the Giants play.

I must give you a bio of all the cats at some point, what they all look like and where they needed to be fed, its all very complicated.

But for now; Jo decided to take some pictures of me in her hallway, they looked very good, especially cuse i'm exceptionally hard to take a good photo of. Check um out, i look like a proper guitarist!



Check out more on Jo's Blog


Currently listening to: "mouthfull of cavities" - Blind Melon (cuse that's what i was playin')

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Smooth as a baby's arse...

I decided to have a trim, as i was starting to look a little too ragged.

From this:


To this:



I aught to get my 12 o'clock shadow back by about april.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Friday, March 03, 2006

The daily show with jon stewart

The daily show is a Comedy Central satirical look at politics in the US. Its done in the style of a CNN style broadcast.

click here for their website

click here to watch their take on the vice president shooting his friend in the face!

currently listening to: "Weather with you" - Crowded House