Friday, April 21, 2006

Humor test

the Wit
(61% dark, 34% spontaneous, 10% vulgar)
your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK




You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're
probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You
realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons'
philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most
other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.



You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm
talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.



PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais







The 3-Variable Funny Test!

- it rules -




If you're interested, try my best friend's best test:
The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Masterpiece





My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 72% on darkness
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 21% on spontaneity
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 1% on vulgarity
Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Saturday, April 15, 2006

playoff fever...

Currently listening to: Xavier Rudd - Messages

The other weekend we joined about 10,500 people at the National Ice Centre in Nottingham for the elite league's playoff final weekend.

Jo, Raj and I headed over on Friday so that we'd not miss any of the games, the first one was 3pm on Saturday and the hotel rooms are never ready for us to check into on time.

We checked out the shops on Friday, and didn't do much but drink coffee and eat burgers!

Later on shiny Sarah, Bill, Lu and the rest arrived. We had some very nice pizza from Amigos, a few drinks in the Pit and Pendulum laced with Nigel's legendary Berry juice and then we were off to bed.
"The Pit" is a fantastically gothic little establishment near the city centre of Nottingham. They had an interesting addition to their washrooms this year, a singing guy dispensing soap and singing songs that he made up like "freshen up, freshen up" and "hygiene is top banana". It was true class, you just slip him a quid or so and he sprays your hands with some spray soap then offers you some kitchen roll followed by a choice of aftershave. The guy sang some more explicit songs, but I ain't posting them for all to see!

Saturday we got up and went to get our usual feed in Squares, (a nice sports bar in the city centre). Shiny Sarah had no ID and so we couldn’t get in to buy lunch. Thing was we were a clear hour and a bit early to buy alcohol so I don’t see what the problem was. We headed off down to the Hard Rock Cafe instead, then off to the arena.

Sheffied Steelers were playing the Cardiff Devils. It was a draw, but Sheffield won on penalties. You can see the last one go in below:

(for the video, click this link)

The Belfast Giants played the Newcastle Vipers later that day. It was nastly. Nuff said.

We all went out after defeat for more pizza, and off to bed after discussing neighbours and many other things.
The Giants were out of the playoffs, we found ourselves in a quandary: who do we support for the final?

Traditionally speaking we would have supported the Cardiff Devils. Their fans were always of good humor and supported us in previous playoff finals. The Steelers were being coached, just for the playoffs, by our former coach Dave Whistle and their fans seemed to have had a personality transplant (for the better).

We ended up supporting the Steelers. It felt dirty and wrong, but we were doing it for coach Whis and not for the sake of their scummy general manager who takes digs at our guys on a regular basis in the press.

Long and the short of it was that the Steelers lost in the final, Newcastle Vipers clinched it.

I was a little underimpressed to watch the final as an event. The hockey was ok, but the atmosphere was not really there, there was no "big show" feel to the event like there was in the old days when Dave allen or Elia Montgomery and I were involved. Don't get me wrong, I don't know if I could have done better, but it felt to me like there was no real build up. The games started all weekend without any real pizaz. (if that is even a word).

The music was inappropriate at times. (they played 'Danny boy' as our national anthem!) The support wasn't really there even though there were lots of bums on seats. There was no carnival atmosphere, probably due to the lack of "playoff village" that has been there in years past. (That was just was just a collection of stalls and good natured hockey folk trying to make you part with money for their dodgy merchandise.)

The one thing that didn't fail to impress me though was the Giants support. Even though we were given an early bath the Giants folks partied hard. We took defeat graciously, we supported an old arch-enemy, we stuck with them even as they lost. We all went to the pub and made Nottingham a more exciting place for a while. (I hear one of them even streaked through the lobby of the hotel we were in!)
On Monday we all had the playoff blues. We missed shiny and Lu going off early for their flight, dragged ourselves through the day and were kept alive with coffee and cake.

We nearly missed the flight home as the 10-or-so-seater taxi turned up very late. We did make it home eventually though, and now the long hockey-less summer begins.

Time to start rumors again. lets see: Jimmi (the owner) told me in the strictest confidence that he will employ dancing girls for the locker rooms next year. (honest, no really).

Eesh, that will be the most sensible thing i'll make up. Cue random hockey people coming to me and saying, as if it were gospel, that something totally unbelievable will happen like, i don't know, an NHL allstar will be signing for us next year. I guess stranger things have happened!

(time taken to post - about 2 weeks)

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Crazy weekend....

2 Weekends ago Jo and I stayed at Dorothy and Alans and looked after about 30 Cats. The we went to edinburgh to watch the Giants play.

I must give you a bio of all the cats at some point, what they all look like and where they needed to be fed, its all very complicated.

But for now; Jo decided to take some pictures of me in her hallway, they looked very good, especially cuse i'm exceptionally hard to take a good photo of. Check um out, i look like a proper guitarist!



Check out more on Jo's Blog


Currently listening to: "mouthfull of cavities" - Blind Melon (cuse that's what i was playin')

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Smooth as a baby's arse...

I decided to have a trim, as i was starting to look a little too ragged.

From this:


To this:



I aught to get my 12 o'clock shadow back by about april.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Never fail to be amazed...

by the idiots who live on this tiny troubled island....

Today the loyalists decided to "have a wee march" in Dublin. Needless to say, there was a riot.

Click here for full story.


I saw the report on UTV, where everyone involved on both sides claimed that they were not to blame.

Shocker.

I believe there is probably a riot commitee. People from both sides up here get together and figure out where they'd like to raise hell. At this meeting "little Jaunty" from the shankill or the falls spoke up and said.. "hear mate, wadda-ya-sai we go down-a dublin, ged-a few pints and hava-a bid-ov-a-riat?" Everybody, at the meeting, having drunk way too much white lightening or buckfast thinks this is a capital idea, nod their burbury baseball cap clad heads, and get about organising who is getting hit with the first half brick.

I really don't care for either sides' point of view, i do however envy those who have moved off this rock to less silly places. Maybe i'll join them one of these days.

(/rant)

Sunday, February 19, 2006

a little iTunes clearout....

So I started the day with an obscene amount of tracks in iTunes and decided a spring clean was in order.

We kicked off with over 40gb of music, over 10,000 tracks. We're now down to:

Phew!

Its amazing the sheer amount of crap you accumulate over the years.

I'm off to bed now, as i'm exhausted....

Currently listening to: "Home" by Dan Fenner (he's a friend of a friend in Leeds, i got his 2 track ep around 1998, its still fantastic, hope he does well)

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

National Chip Week

currently listening to: "Immortality" - Pearl Jam (Vitology)

Yup aparently its national chip week.

I went to the chippie after the gym tonight to undo all the work good i'd done, you know how i'm getting to love that belly of mine.

Once more the gym music was ridiculous, and i drowned it out with Pearl Jam's "Vitology" album.

Every track, apart from the last one "STUPID MOP" or "Hey foxysexymophandlemomma, that's me" (depending on when you bought the album) is a winner. I haven't listened to that track in years, it freaks me out a little, and so as far as I'm concerned the album ends with the somber but perfectly crafted "immortality" which is said to be about Kurt Cobain, but hey, i've got no proof.

Every time I rediscover Vitology its like meeting an old friend and going over old times. I have such vivid memories of the time I first heard it, I was 15, and therefore in school. I dismissed it at first as being not what i'd come to appreciate as a Pearl Jam standard sound, with tracks like "Spin the black circle" verging on punk and "Betterman" then "Nothingman" being the absolute opposite. After a couple of plays trough the album it grew on me and i've come to know all of it word for word.

I found as I changed and started to grow up through my later teens that the sound that Pearl jam were producing was growing up too, from the angry raw sound of "Ten" and "Verses" to something new and more textured through "Vitology" to my favorite "No Code".

I've enjoyed everything they have produced since, with varying enthusiasm. "Yeild" sneaked up on me and I only started to enjoy it in its entirety recently, "Binural" is the one i've listened to least, and i figured they were winding up to finish. "Riot act" became the soundtrack to my early 20's, through job changes, moving out into Belfast.

I could talk these guys all day but, well, i should be asleep. I only came on to talk about national chip week. The long and the short of it is, if you like early Pearl Jam, but never gave the later albums a listen hoak them out, they are well worth it.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Post 101 of hararya

i love the interweb

(i did the geek test, i got a score of about 12%, which means i'm reasonably normal)

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Happy HARARYA birthday to me!

That's right, this site is a year old today.

I started this as a diary, a way to keep crap that i wanted to show people online and a tool for keeping in touch with those i see less of these days.

Its not been a bad year. I've now been in a PROPER computer related job for over a year (many thanks Steria for hiring me, Meelan for reccomending me, Ken Morrow for encouraging me and of course Robert Donnelly for getting the job that we both interviewed for first!). I'm starting to pay off my debts (slowly) and i'm starting to forget what it was like to be working in the Spar, wondering what the hell was happening to my life. That was a pretty dark time.

But listen, listen, never mind me what about you?

Much of the ol' manly love,

Matt
Your Sexy Brazilian Name is:

Djavan Fernandes

Friday, January 27, 2006

Update on gym crappy remix music...

Dave Allen said...

I have an Idea, lets all try and think of the worst possible (or most ridiculous) song they could do this to.

Im thinking "What a Wonderful World" - Louis Armstrong.

What do you think??
11:14 PM

Jo said...

are you kidding? they've done that one already! =/

====

Just to update, tonight they had the following songs:

Every breath you take - Sting
(which is interesting from the whole people stalking people in the gym)

Maria (you gotta see her) - Blonde

Right here waiting for you - Richard marx

====

I think the most ridiculous song that could be used would probably be "Dance of the sugarplum fairy" (from the Nutcracker) - Thaikovsky

What do y'all think?

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

...and now a random fact about Jack Bauer:

Every time the cops get an APB to arrest Jack Bauer, half the department mysteriously calls out sick. The fire department too, just in case.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

So I've been in a gym for a while now...

...and the problems with going are as follows:

1. I'm a pretty skinny ginger 11 stone weakling with terrible dress sense.

2. They play industrial dance / euphoria nonsense music way too loud.

I am hoping to overcome the first problem, but it will take time, maybe years.

The second problem is a little more tricky, but thanks to my trusty Ipod, (being turned up to 11), I can blast rock and or good pop into my ears at a frightening volume canceling out the effect of the mind numbing dispicableness.

The tunes they are playing are largely badly adapted 80's or 90's songs. The standard formula is to slow/speed the melody down to about half of the speed and play a euphoric 'twice the speed a drummer could ever manage' beat over the top. ALL of the songs are the same. The same beat, the same formula.

Starts off with the slowed/sped up sample by itself and slowly the beat raises in volume until it is overpowering. Then, and here is the clever bit, everything stops. The beat then resumes without the sample. The sample joins in after 20 - 30 seconds and gaines in volume. Eventually it all stops again. The song then starts over again with the sample by itself, then the beat builds up to a euphoric ending.

Sometimes at the end of the song they slow the sample down (but don't lower the pitch) so slow that it sounds all distorted and scary. Then maybe stop one more time and bring the beat in again.

I've heard all sorts of abominations, but there are some that border on comedy. Among the most ridiculous are remixes of:

*Sitting on the dock of the bay
*When a man loves a woman
*My heart will go on
*Friends in low places

All of the above have caused me to burst out loud laughing and completely ruin my concentration.

I've resolved the situation by blasting my Ipod really really loud and drowning them out.

I find Metallica works best.

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: "Through the never" - Metallica

10 randomly made up, but humourous things...

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Matt mcivor!

  1. If you blow out all the candles on matt mcivor with one breath, your wish will come true.
  2. Birds do not sleep in matt mcivor, though they may rest in him from time to time.
  3. In the 1600s, tobacco was frequently prescribed to treat headaches, bad breath and matt mcivor.
  4. The International Space Station weighs about 500 tons and is the same size as matt mcivor.
  5. The eye of an ostrich is bigger than matt mcivor!
  6. If a snake is born with two heads, the heads will fight over who gets matt mcivor.
  7. A matt mcivorometer is used to measure matt mcivor.
  8. More than one million stray dogs and half a million stray cats live in matt mcivor.
  9. It's bad luck for a flag to touch matt mcivor.
  10. The opposite sides of matt mcivor always add up to seven.
I am interested in - do tell me about