Happy HARARYA birthday to me!

That's right, this site is a year old today.

I started this as a diary, a way to keep crap that i wanted to show people online and a tool for keeping in touch with those i see less of these days.

Its not been a bad year. I've now been in a PROPER computer related job for over a year (many thanks Steria for hiring me, Meelan for reccomending me, Ken Morrow for encouraging me and of course Robert Donnelly for getting the job that we both interviewed for first!). I'm starting to pay off my debts (slowly) and i'm starting to forget what it was like to be working in the Spar, wondering what the hell was happening to my life. That was a pretty dark time.

But listen, listen, never mind me what about you?

Much of the ol' manly love,

Matt

Your Sexy Brazilian Name is:

Djavan Fernandes

What's Your Sexy Brazilian Name?

Update on gym crappy remix music...

Dave Allen said...

I have an Idea, lets all try and think of the worst possible (or most ridiculous) song they could do this to.

Im thinking "What a Wonderful World" - Louis Armstrong.

What do you think??
11:14 PM

Jo said...

are you kidding? they've done that one already! =/

====

Just to update, tonight they had the following songs:

Every breath you take - Sting
(which is interesting from the whole people stalking people in the gym)

Maria (you gotta see her) - Blonde

Right here waiting for you - Richard marx

====

I think the most ridiculous song that could be used would probably be "Dance of the sugarplum fairy" (from the Nutcracker) - Thaikovsky

What do y'all think?

...and now a random fact about Jack Bauer:

Every time the cops get an APB to arrest Jack Bauer, half the department mysteriously calls out sick. The fire department too, just in case.

What kind of villan am I?

What Type of Villain are You?

mutedfaith.com.

(incidently, if you are reading this, dave ashe, that's probably you too!)

So I've been in a gym for a while now...

...and the problems with going are as follows:

1. I'm a pretty skinny ginger 11 stone weakling with terrible dress sense.

2. They play industrial dance / euphoria nonsense music way too loud.

I am hoping to overcome the first problem, but it will take time, maybe years.

The second problem is a little more tricky, but thanks to my trusty Ipod, (being turned up to 11), I can blast rock and or good pop into my ears at a frightening volume canceling out the effect of the mind numbing dispicableness.

The tunes they are playing are largely badly adapted 80's or 90's songs. The standard formula is to slow/speed the melody down to about half of the speed and play a euphoric 'twice the speed a drummer could ever manage' beat over the top. ALL of the songs are the same. The same beat, the same formula.

Starts off with the slowed/sped up sample by itself and slowly the beat raises in volume until it is overpowering. Then, and here is the clever bit, everything stops. The beat then resumes without the sample. The sample joins in after 20 - 30 seconds and gaines in volume. Eventually it all stops again. The song then starts over again with the sample by itself, then the beat builds up to a euphoric ending.

Sometimes at the end of the song they slow the sample down (but don't lower the pitch) so slow that it sounds all distorted and scary. Then maybe stop one more time and bring the beat in again.

I've heard all sorts of abominations, but there are some that border on comedy. Among the most ridiculous are remixes of:

*Sitting on the dock of the bay
*When a man loves a woman
*My heart will go on
*Friends in low places

All of the above have caused me to burst out loud laughing and completely ruin my concentration.

I've resolved the situation by blasting my Ipod really really loud and drowning them out.

I find Metallica works best.

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: "Through the never" - Metallica

10 randomly made up, but humourous things...

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Matt mcivor!

1. If you blow out all the candles on matt mcivor with one breath, your wish will come true.
2. Birds do not sleep in matt mcivor, though they may rest in him from time to time.
3. In the 1600s, tobacco was frequently prescribed to treat headaches, bad breath and matt mcivor.
4. The International Space Station weighs about 500 tons and is the same size as matt mcivor.
5. The eye of an ostrich is bigger than matt mcivor!
6. If a snake is born with two heads, the heads will fight over who gets matt mcivor.
7. A matt mcivorometer is used to measure matt mcivor.
8. More than one million stray dogs and half a million stray cats live in matt mcivor.
9. It's bad luck for a flag to touch matt mcivor.
10. The opposite sides of matt mcivor always add up to seven.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

Haraya Caleb John Allen?

Welcome to the world dude.

God Bless.

Is it Rod Jane or Freddy?

Auto resolution generator....

In the year 2006 I resolve to: Get a mullet. Get your resolution here

This post is dermo's fault, i copied the idea from his blog...

Currently listening to: "Late for the sky" - Jackson Browne

Some things you didn't know / kinda knew, explained a little....

i largely dont eat vegtables. I will eat: potatoes in any form, and tomatoes in the form of a paste or heinz tomato soup. But that is pretty much it.

I don't largely eat fruit. I will eat pineapple. And i've come round to orange juice and cranberry juice, but i'd freak out to eat an orange or a cranberry. I hate the taste of apple juice. I love apple tart. If i don't look at it i can eat the processed apple, if it is warm and is hidden by, lets say, pastery and some kind of cream.

I'm scared of meat. I can eat chicken sometimes. Maybe beef mince in spagetti or chilli. I'm nearly sick if i accidently eat a piece of fat. (one my friends mums - who was a psychologist - served me up a big peace of fatty pork at their table one sunday when i was a kid - knowing full well of my fears. I tried my best - got a big bit of fat, freaked out and then ran out the back to be sick.)

I don't like fish. but i love the taste of prawn cocktail crisps.

All dairy products are great. I love milk.

I like spicey things and almost every type of sauce. I've discovered indian food which i like pretty well, which is basically nice sauces with chicken, and i can pick out the veg.

Most of the things i have come to like i have sampled on a pizza first.

(its pretty much a fear of un-processed food. Yup. I'm a freak. Many thanks to Elia Montgomery for actually putting it into a phrase for me - the fear part, not the freak, i already knew about that.)

I love coffee in almost all forms. Clements esspresso coffee is the best. I buy it and take it home to make. I make coffee and try to force it on people. (sorry work buddies.)

Its finally happened....

If I'm walking I can call myself a "Podestrian".

I've joined the revolution.

The revolution will not be televised.

(It might be podcast though)

Merry Christmas

If i haven't seen you / called you / bought you anything, then let me apologise.

May you all get the things you need today.

Remember folks, Jesus is the reason for the season and so may he bless you, weather you believe in him or not. Hey, he's that kind of deity.

Much manly love,

M

That fight in Edinburgh....

Clipshack ROCKS!

Currently listening to: Dire Straits "Telegraph Road" - Alchemy (live)"

Mark Knopfler ROCKS too!

Been a hell of a week or so....

So, there has been a lot happening recently, so much in fact, that I haven't even been able to update my blog.

Lets get the formalities out of the way then:

Farewell to Sam Ham (Joanne's oldest chihuahua)

Sam passed away on Thursday night (8th), and was one of two dogs the Ham's got about 17 years ago. The other one, Floyd, had gone a few years ago. Now only Tyson remains, also a chihuahua, and about a year old.

Farewell to Joe Hill (my aunt Dorothy's oldest cat, and last surviving descendant of my grandad's cat).

Joe passed on Saturday evening and was about 18 years old. Me and my big bro Andy found Joe and his brother Harry under a rhubarb plant in my grandad's back garden just after they had been born.

Its been a bit of a rough week with those two, and still looking for Sylvester, Joannne's cat, who got away from us on Friday night a week or so ago while we were trying to get him to the vet's on the Lisburn Road in Belfast.

Also, that big explosion in England was quite close to the UK head office of the company I work for. There seems to be a fair bit of damage there. That is nothing compared to the company friends of mine (wrighty and Stewarty) work for, whose office was pretty much destroyed.

Everyone is tired, and there isn't really that much Christmas cheer to be had. There have been some sightings of the cat and some nasty calls from people winding us up, but the search goes on, we will party when she gets home.

Please pray, if you are that way inclined, for any of the above you feel moved about. All help is much appreciated.

Much manly love,

M

Bouncy ball advert

Currently listening to "Space travel is boring" - Sun Kill Moon

This rocks.

The track used is "Heartbeats" - Jose González, which is pretty damn good.

Thanks to everyone for you Lovely prezzies yesterday.

M

The wrong side of 25...

Currently listening to: "Heartbeats" - Jose González

Thats right, i'm getting old.

I was getting into bed after a lovely night at shiny sarah's house. I started to contemplate being 26.

26. I remember when i thought that was old.

Nevertheless I was just getting snuggly when I got a call from my big bro Andy. He'd neglected to put diesel in Mee-lan's car and was sitting at a local motorway's central reservation.

I jumped up, got dressed and headed down, but the AA were already on the way so I parked up and let them wait in the heat for the short while till the breakdown truck arrived.

The guy sorted the car with fuel, and it started after a little bit. Hoorah!

Just before i left them I said "anytime you wanna say happy birthday is fine with me." Immediatley i got a nice chorus of "Happy birthday to you", the first of my 26th year, in the freezing cold on the M2!

T'was oddly nice.

Now as I drift off, I spare a thought for Dave Allen in Medicine Hat Canada. He's 25 and gonna be a daddy anytime now. I thought I had trouble!

Much manly love to y'all.

M

Flip me its foggy.

When i was driving in this morning I found that because the fog was so thick, you could look directly at the sun! (and not get blinded).

This is a bad shot i took on the way with my phone camera, if i had been 10 seconds earlier it would have been perfect, but here the sun is starting to break through.

Oh well.

Current music: "Oh well" - Fleetwood Mac

A hell of a week. (and a ripping yarn)

This week, I've been mostly on Microsoft's "2273a Managing and Maintaining a Microsoft Server 2003 Environment" Many thanks to the kindly folks at Steria who sent me, and of course, paid for the whole she-bang.

Now perhaps I'll be able to hold down a conversation about server-ie thing-ies. (at least, that's the plan).

There were only 5 of us; Declan, Davy, Pete and the trainer Marek. Which meant that I got lots of help when I inevitably screwed things up. We learned a lot. We also had a good lunch at a different Belfast pub every day. (I must recommend Whites Tavern - the oldest tavern in Belfast, which I never noticed before. It is located off the side street beside Dixons at donegall arcade).

Here is a picture of us working hard on friday afternoon!

On the Tuesday I had an induction to attend at the gym (valley leisure centre, cuse its cheap!) to make sure I'd not die on any of their machines. I was in a little bit of a hurry to get there, so as soon as class was finished I ran to the parking spot I had in the multi-story carpark next door.

The payment machine took forever, and I ended up forgetting my card and only realizing when I'd reached the 4th floor! I ran back down and the attendant made a "you silly plonker" face at me. I ran back up the stairs.

When I got to my car I realized that the front left tyre was flat. I swore a little and got on with changing it asap. The car I currently drive is a rental, It gets changed every few months, so I'm never that sure where things like spare tyres are, as makes vary.

I got the spare out of the boot, undid the complicated alloy wheel lock nut thingies and started wrestling the tyre into position. Then a snag. There was a loud rip sound from the back of my jeans.

As I got the flat tyre back into the boot, the 37th person to walk past and see me in strife offered me help, just as it was too late to do anything. I thanked him kindly anyway.

I got down the levels as soon as I could, but not soon enough to avoid my ticket having expired. I was holding up the traffic behind me who were getting irate and beeping their horns. I got out of the car and was met by the same parking attendant who still showed the "you silly plonker" face. After the brief explanation of events and examining the hole in my trousers her agreed to let me go without paying. The "you silly plonker" expression changed to one of "you poor kid" mixed with merriment.

Traffic was a nightmare. I reached the Gym about 6 to 10 mins late. The person doing my induction refused to see me as "punctuality is key". I once again explained my predicament and she seemed to think my excuses were valid, especially having a 6 inch hole in my trousers. (I still didn't get my induction though - bloody typical). Nevertheless I filled in a form to say I wasn't dying, wouldn't die from exercise, and if I did - it wasn't their fault. I did the workout of my life to relieve the anger I had accumulated and had a soak in the jacuzzi.

I put my torn jeans back on and wandered around Tesco getting some stuff for tea and headed over to Jo's house.

And Sleep.

The biggest Theo fans ever! (and other stuff..)

Currently listening to: JOHN PRINE "Standing By Peaceful Waters"

So, there I was, over at Shiny Sarah's house, waiting on Jo to finish her hair so she and Raj could head out to her formal lookin mighty fine. While making smalltalk with the adults they said they were talking to a couple of folks that had come over to Belfast 'specially to see Theoren McFleury play a game for the Giants.

Lance and Christie are from Seattle. Christie has been traveling around Europe and Lance had just joined her when they realized Theo was playing in Belfast. The hopped on a plane to see their hero play.

Tom and Joyce had got chatting to them, as they were at the game against Cardiff on Thursday night. They were so excited that Joyce asked if there was anything we could do for them, since they'd made effort to come see us and all. I asked the Giants folks and it was set.

I met with them and told them they could come meet Theo after the game. Lance was apparently speechless for about 30 mins.

At the end of the game I went to get them from the crowd. Nigel, Raj's dad, kindly lent us his digital SLR and so we headed down to the changing room waiting areas. We had to wait a little while for Theo to finish up showering, and he's apparently the quick one!

Theo was a true gent and chatted to them for a while, which I understand was some kind of life ambition for Lance! He's been watching him play hockey since he was a kid. When Theo realized the effort these guys had gone to to be at the games he said, "oh, hey sorry it was such a stinker tonight". (It was a little bit of a slow game, even if we did win).

Its always good to meet hockey folks from another country, 'specially when they are just so nice, and easy to get on with.

Me and Jo said our goodbyes and we headed to Four star to get some dinner. Incidently FOUR STAR pizza are opening up in newtownabbey, at fernagh. WHOOOHOO!

Lots of stuff has happened since my last post, I really should say more, and will soon. I did go see the excellent John Prine in concert at the Waterfront Hall and I will write something about that soon.

Also, I'm on a windows 2003 server course this week instead of being in work. I'm really looking forward to that. I might actually be able to pretend that I know what I'm talking about by the end of the week!